Diary of Sihamuni The Guard
April 17,1975
Dear diary,
Today is the first day I started working for Pol Pot. I am a guard and i'm safe from getting killed. I'm not really in to hurting people. I don't mean to sound selfish but I want to save my life. Today we separated the Cambodians in to groups where they worked until their death. It was sad to see so many innocent families come in to get tortured. I saw a man today that was one of my old friends; he looked scared but I looked away because I felt ashamed. I started this diary because I needed someone to talk to during this mass killing. The other guards were built, tall, and they all enjoyed beating the people. I was 5'9, gaunt, and i wasn't trained much. I met my leader he was mixed Chinese and Cambodian, he was evil, he frowned a lot, and he always was fussing. Pol Pot expected his guards to know what to do and not go against his word, and we all respected him and did every demand he said. The Cambodians were respectful to everyone but they were sad to be in a place like this. No one was killed today and no one was hurt. Maybe it won't be bad after all. I hope Pol Pot doesn't hurt anyone and just wants to scare them.
Today is the first day I started working for Pol Pot. I am a guard and i'm safe from getting killed. I'm not really in to hurting people. I don't mean to sound selfish but I want to save my life. Today we separated the Cambodians in to groups where they worked until their death. It was sad to see so many innocent families come in to get tortured. I saw a man today that was one of my old friends; he looked scared but I looked away because I felt ashamed. I started this diary because I needed someone to talk to during this mass killing. The other guards were built, tall, and they all enjoyed beating the people. I was 5'9, gaunt, and i wasn't trained much. I met my leader he was mixed Chinese and Cambodian, he was evil, he frowned a lot, and he always was fussing. Pol Pot expected his guards to know what to do and not go against his word, and we all respected him and did every demand he said. The Cambodians were respectful to everyone but they were sad to be in a place like this. No one was killed today and no one was hurt. Maybe it won't be bad after all. I hope Pol Pot doesn't hurt anyone and just wants to scare them.
June 19,1977
Dear diary,
It was not a good day, well not a good month. I have watched innocent children get burned and shot to death. I'm happy to still be alive but I don't want to be apart of this. Pol has made us torture hundreds of people. I am starting to get used to walking out and seeing bodies laying on the ground so helpless. This mass murdering was a disaster , it was a nightmare for so many. "The darkness in the room clothed them yet not shielded them"(Dipity images). I didn't understand why they needed guards to watch over the Cambodians anyway. Not many people tried to escape from here. The Cambodians were trying to be respectful to the guards and do all of their work duties so they can at least get to go home. It's so scary to have to hear screams all day. I've seen a baby get their finger cut off because it let out a cry. That's cruel to do to a human being that hasn't harmed you in any way. I would stand up to Pot but he has more power over me and I would be sent to get killed if i disrespected him. Today was the first day I was made to torture a prisoner. The girl, Monica Chum, was to be tortured because she hesitated to answer Pol's question. It was the worse experience ever. I cried a little but I didn't want to show any weakness.
It was not a good day, well not a good month. I have watched innocent children get burned and shot to death. I'm happy to still be alive but I don't want to be apart of this. Pol has made us torture hundreds of people. I am starting to get used to walking out and seeing bodies laying on the ground so helpless. This mass murdering was a disaster , it was a nightmare for so many. "The darkness in the room clothed them yet not shielded them"(Dipity images). I didn't understand why they needed guards to watch over the Cambodians anyway. Not many people tried to escape from here. The Cambodians were trying to be respectful to the guards and do all of their work duties so they can at least get to go home. It's so scary to have to hear screams all day. I've seen a baby get their finger cut off because it let out a cry. That's cruel to do to a human being that hasn't harmed you in any way. I would stand up to Pot but he has more power over me and I would be sent to get killed if i disrespected him. Today was the first day I was made to torture a prisoner. The girl, Monica Chum, was to be tortured because she hesitated to answer Pol's question. It was the worse experience ever. I cried a little but I didn't want to show any weakness.
January 24,1979
Dear diary,
I have lived here for almost 5 years. I wake up every morning thinking about the nightmare I had the night before. I guess I have to deal with it until Pol thinks its time to give up on his killing spree. When I Do my night walks past the rooms you can hear cries for help from sick, hurt, and old people. I always imagine them being me. I over heard someone talking about the Vietnamese being here. It's 7:00 a.m, what are they doing here so early? I rushed to Pol's Cabin immediately and I found to see all of the guards in his room. They said "before it reaches 10:00 we are going to have to fled from here. At about 8:25 The Khmer Rouge noticed people who have never been to the camp. Guards were getting dropped and held down. It didn't take long for Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge to fled. "They all went to the Northwestern countries of the jungles"(Warren 1).
I have lived here for almost 5 years. I wake up every morning thinking about the nightmare I had the night before. I guess I have to deal with it until Pol thinks its time to give up on his killing spree. When I Do my night walks past the rooms you can hear cries for help from sick, hurt, and old people. I always imagine them being me. I over heard someone talking about the Vietnamese being here. It's 7:00 a.m, what are they doing here so early? I rushed to Pol's Cabin immediately and I found to see all of the guards in his room. They said "before it reaches 10:00 we are going to have to fled from here. At about 8:25 The Khmer Rouge noticed people who have never been to the camp. Guards were getting dropped and held down. It didn't take long for Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge to fled. "They all went to the Northwestern countries of the jungles"(Warren 1).
By: Kimberly Long